Mortified, Humiliated and Beyond Embarrassed

I went to Target with Kambree, Brynlee and Jonah today. Since Jonah's car seat takes up the entire basket, I got the cart with the seat attachment, so that the girls would have a place to sit. The basket is so heavy when all three of them are in it and having a broken wheel didn't make pushing it any easier. We walked past a display of Doritos so I grabbed a bag and opened it for the girls. Brynlee was shoveling them in her mouth as fast as she could when she suddenly started gagging. I told her to slow down, chew and swallow. She just kept gagging. My first instinct was to save the chips, since I wanted some for later! Just as I saw a trace of Dorito drool start to come out of Brynlee's mouth, she gagged and puked! I instantly cupped my hands together and caught it, not a drop on the floor! Then she gagged again and I caught another mouthful! When the third round came out, the puke started spilling over my hands and began to run through my fingers. She threw up two more times, all over her face & Minnie Mouse dress. Then the really craziness began! If you weren't one of the horrified bystanders watching us with your mouth hanging open, then you were one of the few shoppers wondering if there was a fire truck in the building. There wasn't...it was Brynlee crying as loud as she possibly could! Kambree was just beside herself over all the drama and started screaming over and over and over, "Why Brynee throwing up, why, why? Why Brynee throwing up Mom? Why she throw up on her dress, why?!" I stood there in the back of Target with Dorito puke cupped in my hands, my children completely traumatized, thinking to myself, "Holy crap how am I going to get all the way up to the bathrooms?" I knew that I was being watched on the security cameras so I didn't dare dump the puke on the floor and yell "Clean up on aisle 6!" So, since none of the staring strangers offered to help me, I hunched my body over the bar of the basket and with my hands cupped together over Brynlee's lap, I did my best to quiet and comfort my inconsolable children while I pushed the basket with my boobs up to the front of the store! Don't forget, the basket is very heavy and broken! At some point, Kambree got disgusted by all the throw up on Brynlee and jumped out of the basket. She began walking next to me, still demanding to know why Brynlee threw up in the store! We were by the kids department when Kambree started pulling on my pants yelling, "Mom, waaaait, I'm tiiiired, carry me!" and then stopped walking. Um, seriously Kambree?! I just kept on walking at a turtle's pace up to the front of the store when Kambree ran up behind me and pulled on my pants crying, "WAIT! CARRY ME!" In that moment, Kambree pulled my pants more than half way down my cheeks! There I stood, bent over a basket, my hands still cupped together holding puke, mooning all of the people in Target! I just stood there completely helpless, shaking my head, glaring at the camera in front of me, knowing all to well that the security guard watching me was laughing his head off! I cursed him under my breath for not getting on his stupid radio to send me some desperately needed help! I looked around and began to laugh at the horror I saw on people's faces. As I stood there with my "I just gave birth to a 10 pound baby" butt hanging out, I was again in awe that nobody offered to help me! If they weren't going to offer to pull my basket up to the bathrooms, they certainly weren't going to offer to pull up my pants! I didn't dare ask my three year old daughter to try and pull them up cuz I probably would have ended up with my pants around my knees! I took a long, deep breath and then began my journey up to the bathrooms, bent over the cart, butt fully exposed, completely mortified! As I turned the corner I could see the bathrooms straight ahead. I could also see 5 women who obviously ran into each other at the store, standing in front of me blocking the aisle. The women were all my age with no kids. Two of them were very cute girls and one of them could have been a model! At this point I began to swear up a storm in my mind! As they separated their carts to make room for me to walk through them, I couldn't help but notice the disgust on their faces and I was grateful that I couldn't see their expressions once I passed them! ha ha
I finally made it to the bathrooms only to discover that I had to pull the bathroom door open! There were 4 women with toddlers and a young guy in his 20's standing near me. I rolled my eyes, sighed heavily and said, "Excuse me, could someone PLEASE open the door for me!" I shouldn't have been so surprised when the 20 year old MAN was the one to open the WOMAN'S bathroom door, but I was!
After spending 20 minutes in the bathroom, I was ready to make a mad dash for the front doors! Oh crap!, I just realized I still had to pay for that stupid bag of Doritos that caused all this drama in the first place! As we finally walked out of the bathroom Kambree started screaming, "Mom wait! We can't go out there! Everyone will see Brynee's boobs!" Where the heck was her concern for my exposed butt!!!